The Publishing Contrarian

Let’s stop fooling ourselves that all of the men and women in the upper echelons and inner sanctums of publishing are serious about overhauling the industry. They’re not. The fire in the belly that once propelled many of the entrenched old-timers is burning out and the damper is half-shut. They seem to be more concerned with big paychecks, stock options, bonuses, Callaway Golf Clubs, tee times, the Beach Club, the status quo and The State of the Prostate.  

But how about those young Turks at Google? Fire in the belly raging 24/7 and forcing  change upon the publishing industry. Let’s take the hint about management and innovation from CEO Eric Schmidt. We all know their 70/20/10 approach to business. We do, don’t we? We have read something other than Publishers Weekly and publishing blogs like this one, yes? Seventy-percent time spent on core business, 20% time spent on adjacent business, and 10% time spent on “things that are truly new.”

• How about new, cooperative contracts that allow authors to buy groceries. 
• How about new, tough criteria to cut down on dreck used to fill publishing quotas?
• How about new, open-ended time frames to market marketable good books.
• How about new, multitalented people to replace the “it’s-not-my-job,” myopic, uni-talented people. 

Of course, we can’t expect all the chairmen, board members, CEOs or presidents to relinquish power. We don’t want that. (Power is everything at the Beach Club.) They’d really get their plus fours in a twist if we tried! And dare I say that we would meet with an unfortunate accident as the wagons circled. In point of fact, they have the legacy knowledge, political savvy, deep pockets, and access to other powerbrokers that are critical to publishing and to change in publishing. But we need ALL of them to embrace change, not be indifferent to it, resist it, or just give lip service to it. And at a less elevated level we need to get past the bitter internecine feuds and territorial imperatives that pervade publishing houses and discourage innovation and derring-do.

And then, of course, there’s the option to call Google’s Help Desk. 

A favorite quote: If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.

Geez, I actually started to feel bad for James Frey, sitting there on Oprah’s sofa and looking like we all felt when our moms dragged our sobbing selves back to the General Store to return pilfered candy bars, our little bodies quaking with remorse, our eyes brimming with tears of humiliation, our chocolate covered lips trembling as we choked out the words: “I’m sorry.” And unloaded all those gum balls from our pockets on to the counter.

Oh, wait. That was US, not little Jimmy. What’s up with HIS mom?

I’m sure there are more writers than James Frey waking up screaming in the night right now, and not just a few slipshod fact checkers as well. Thump, thump, thump. What’s that? The sound of a Doubleday lowly fact checker’s head bouncing down Fifth Avenue. I’ve had enough of James Frey’s public humiliation. Don’t worry, the publishers will squeeze his royalties just like everyone else’s when he’s not looking! I’m sure A Million Little Pieces has been flying out of the distribution centers at fine-print, bulk rates that reduce Frey’s royalties to just enough for him to buy a video of Pinocchio.

Nan Talese? Short of throwing herself in front of a subway or taking late retirement last weekend, this was a command performance. All in all, I’d say she looked lovely in NYC black.

Does anybody know what it’s like to work at Barnes & Noble in the corporate offices on Fifth Avenue in New York City? I mean in the building opposite the famous Barnes & Noble bookstore at 17th Street & Fifth Avenue. Are brothers Chairman Len and CEO Steve Riggio on premise? Do you get to elevator-speak with them? What are those guys like, anyhow? Are they knee-slappingly funny? Whose big black limo is that lurking just around the corner all day long? 

Hand raised and waving frantically! I know! I worked there as a marketing consultant with the title Director of Marketing, Special Sales. Remember the buzz about Great Expectations–Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy & Childbirth by Sandy & Marcie Jones in late 2004? GE was published, gasp, by the spawn of B&N, Inc., none other than Barnes & Noble Books! I was asked to slap that baby on the fanny and send it out into the world to compete against arch enemy Peter Workman’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting.  

You do know, don’t you, that B&N Books has very aggressive and smart publishers who crank out hundreds of books a year and a stable of young (or not so young!) sr. editors and just plain editors who are always casting about for nonfiction book ideas to feed the monster and tilt the P&L toward the P. I won’t call it a sweat shop, but I’m telling you, it’s busy and fast-paced in that warren called the 7th floor.  “I have a reputation for burning people out,” one publisher told me–to the sound of teeth being sharpened for a morning meeting. 

There are books stacked everywhere: on shelves, on filing cabinets, on desks, on the floor, in the lunch rooms (”Catfight on 10 for free books!”) and in the arms of the chairman, the CEO, the president, editors, publishers, and messengers moving across floors and between floors.

I think of B&N Books as being about as traditional as a publishing house can get, ordering up ”meat and potato” books, but trying to fly under the publishing radar screen to avoid making independent bookstores and traditional publishers any madder than they already are! What audacity! Having hundreds and hundreds of maximart bookstores and a clickin’ good website AND self-published books from B&N Books and, yes, Sterling Publishing, to make sure the coin-of-the-realm continues to trickle upward and that readers can find anything and everything they want and need related to books, books. books. 

And, it’s true, you do get to ride the elevator with Len and Steve. I did. I chatted amiably with Len (Mr. Riggio to you!) about golf (my nephew caddied for Len at Atlantic in Bridgehampton; initiation fee $300,000?) and Italy (a B&N employee won a fabulous trip; no it didn’t include an all-expenses-paid shopping spree, Len said.) Len is one sharp dresser. Very natty. And he’s quite charming. Or he was to me, anyway. I don’t know why everyone walks around mumbling: “You don’t want to make Len mad. Don’t make Len mad.” I also rode with Steve, but my mouth was duct taped each time before I was allowed to enter the elevator with him.

For lots of fun info about B&N, a trip to their online Annual Reports makes for great reading. They’re practically bodice rippers. I particularly like the part where everyone pats himself on the back because a book has sold 10,000 copies.  As an author, only 10,000 copies sold would assure me of yet another year in the poorhouse. Yes, Len and Steve would see my body plunging past the 10th floor windows at 122 Fifth Avenue if one of my books was considered a raging success at 10,000 copies. As a publisher, 10,000 here; 10,000 there; 10,000 copies x hundreds and hundreds of self-published books…well, you can do the math and work the profit margins.    

You can guess who the limo belongs to, can’t you!

Here are some topics I’m mulling over for future posts: Wrestling over the reins with Google. (Oh, that’s right, they’ve already got them.)

Editor/author and agent/author contracts. (Are you getting into bed with a partner or adversary? Should you have sex with the lights on and your eyes open?)

Well, you get the idea!